LIFEGUARD (1976) ★ ★
Dan Petrie's "Lifeguard" was clearly inspired by Clint Eastwood's May/December romantic drama "Breezy," which was released three years prior. Petrie's picture was filmed and finished in the summer of 1975, but kept in the cooler for a year before it hit theaters, probably because Paramount knew it had an inferior film on its hands, and needed time to mull it over. In the end we got a cheap imitation of the kind of story that can reveal a studio's greatest strengths or its worst shortcomings.
The problem is the writing; the cast is comprised of several talented actors, all of whom manage commendable performances, despite a Swiss cheese script. Sam Elliott is Rick Carlson, Southern Californian lifer of a lifeguard who finds himself professionally and romantically adrift in his mid-thirties. (His plight is the only aspect of the film that resonates in 2022.) Rick is the guy some women consider a "project," i.e., he's irresistibly sexy, great in bed, derelict whenever a waiter delivers the check. Oh, and he's been invited to his high school reunion.
We're given early insights into Rick the Rascal's attitude problems. He's visited by his airline stewardess girlfriend, who after a few hellos and a quick romp confesses to him that she's looking for love in a relationship. His response? "Problem is, you want everything." He encourages adolescent beach loafers to get laid, and gives advice to his teenage protégé, played by Parker Stevenson, as if the boy will better understand the world when he's twenty years down the road and still a lifeguard. Rick finds refuge in a job that rarely requires any real work, although his 1969 Corvette Stingray (a $37,000 car new, adjusted for inflation) suggests he makes a good salary, one of several examples of the bizarre logic of "Lifeguard."
Enter Wendy, a teenager in a sea of teenagers who washes up on Rick's shore with a cut finger in dire need of a band-aid. Kathleen Quinlan's second film role is probably not what launched her career into the A-List stratosphere, but her depiction of Wendy is technically sound, with credible emotional output and beat-perfect timing. Wendy crushes hard on Rick, who shows a glimmer of maturity by rejecting her on the grounds of their age difference. But she's persistent, and he relents and has sex with her. Things can only go downhill from here.
One day Rick bumps into Larry, an old school chum, and we learn that he's reached the great heights of financial success selling Porsches to Waspy locals. Clearly thinking Rick is stuck and looking for a real job, Larry throws him a generous lifeline by encouraging him to apply for a salesman position at his dealership, an offer Rick accepts. The movie clumsily transitions to his high school reunion, where Rick prowls the depressing bloatscape of old acquaintances and total strangers in search of someone. That someone is Cathy, played by the strikingly beautiful Anne Archer. When he finds her, I couldn't help but hope that this would be a positive turning point for Rick. Even the saddest sack would allow Cathy to change him.
No such luck. New love blossoms between two thirty-somethings, and a naive teenage girl gets her heart broken. But the love is superficial, and Cathy tries and fails to change Rick. He's offered the Porsche job, but turns it down so he can keep pounding sand. When explaining himself to Larry, Rick inexplicably tells him his lifeguard pay is pretty good, which makes me wonder why he bothered with the interview in the first place. And apparently his Stingray is invisible to Cathy, who struggles to conceal her disapproval of his career choices.
But Rick's method of ending things with Wendy is the culmination of the film's broken logic. He tells her all the right things: She's jailbait. A relationship is inappropriate. He could get in serious trouble. This would prove he's smart, if he hadn't already slept with her. Does he really think ditching a sobbing teenager after having sex with her will preserve his freedom? What's to stop her from getting even with a little visit to the local sheriff? I know these are all spoilers, but given that the few pleasures of the film are in the performances alone, I'm certain you'll forgive me.
--- Bill Fontaine
