THE NORTHMAN (2022) ★ ★
I wanted to like "The Northman," I really did. An epic period action movie with the protagonist vying against all odds for vengeance against the evil uncle who killed his father - what's not to like? This tale of Vikings, full of the rich imagery of their archeologically unearthed culture and mythological beliefs, should've been a slam-dunk. Imagine my disappointment when I realized that bad writing (and mediocre acting) had struck again.
Alexander Skarsgård plays Amleth, a Viking warrior prince, and Oscar Novak plays Amleth as a young boy. Both actors try their best to imbue their character with the kind of grit and machismo that would align him with larger-then-life heroes like Mel Gibson's William Wallace and Liam Neeson's Rob Roy MacGregor. But where those films employ great actors to play dimensional people, director Robert Eggers settled for a less-accomplished actor to play a one-dimensional cardboard cut-out of a man.
It's been a while since I saw a character as dull and unconvincing as Amleth. He starts out as a young boy on a fictional Viking island in 895 AD (why invent the island of Hrafnsey when Scandinavia is right there?) and I'm meant to believe that this kid calls his father, Ethan Hawke's King Aurvandill, "Lord King." He kisses dad's ring with lovey-dovey eyes, as if adult Viking isn't something he aspires to achieve. Sure, dad is covered in dirt and other people's blood, with a chain gang of young starving women trailing behind his entourage, but this kid thinks dad is great. He stands beside his mother, played by Nicole Kidman, to greet him. None of this seems historically accurate, but okay.
Hawke's character is soon after murdered by his brother, Fjölnir the Brotherless, which is an awfully obvious name to give the guy. I don't know how King Aurvandill didn't see it coming. Played by Claes Bang, Fjölnir is just as dull to watch as the rest of them. Where the role needed Alan Rickman-as-the-Sheriff levels of charisma, instead we get a vacant-eyed Bang, who can barely muster the enthusiasm to usurp his brother's reign, mumbling to his henchmen the command to kill his nephew and indefinitely affirm his new title. One of the henchmen gets his nose cut off by the child, and then lies and tells Fjölnir the boy is dead. When young Amleth returns to his kingdom, he witnesses his mother being carried off, screaming in agony. Good times all around.
Fast forward a few years, and we find the boy has grown into Skarsgård's Amleth, who has inexplicably become a warrior slave in another land. Cue the hero's journey-style series of Viking plunders, a long string of the lamest battle scenes I've seen in a while. The fighters in these enemy villages just stand there and wait for Amleth to chop them up. Talk about weak resistance! And none of his Viking behavior endears me to his character, who has clearly taken on his father's mantle of traipsing through other people's homes, killing their occupants, degrading their elders and children, and sexually assaulting their women. Amleth doesn't need vengeance to regain his father's stolen crown. He turned out exactly like dear old dad anyway.
The film is peppered with psychedelic scenes in which Amleth experiences visions of Norse gods and other people he's never met, including his own unborn children. These scenes were filler, and did nothing for the story. "The Northman" could have been thirty minutes shorter, with all the weird and trippy moments edited out. But the thing that annoyed me most is that Skarsgård plays Amleth with no degree of irony, and even worse, no sense of levity. Amleth isn't a man. Amleth is Mister Serious Face. The actor's face was at risk of freezing in the endless frown he wears, and he should've earned hazard pay. What's with Hollywood writing characters that experience one emotion every single day? Even when he's with Anya Taylor-Joy's character, a slave girl and Amleth's lover, he doesn't let his haggard guard down.
Jarin Blaschke's cinematography is one redeeming feature, and I appreciated the epic look of this movie, with its sweeping landscapes (most of which were CGI) and interesting imagery. I also found the basic premise of "The Northman" to be compelling, as the journey from unknown serf to restored king makes even the most hardened cynic at least a little curious. Casting Anya Taylor-Joy was an additional stroke of luck, and I only wish her character was given more screen time. She is clearly a good actor, and I'd like to see more of her in the future. But I do hope she's wrung the Nordic warrior woman thing out of her system, because I can't sit through another film as leaden and frowny as this one.
-- Bill Fontaine
